The game was called “Common Thread”
The two groups of six women huddled together and drew up a list of all the things they had in common. One group found 20 things each had in common, the second group found 38.
It was a familiar exercise for a meeting of Mothers of Preschoolers, a international faith based support group for mothers that has been around for 25-years. The leader at the meeting where “Common Thread” was played was Angel Shahrestani, mother of four boys whose ages range so that she has been raising preschoolers for 20 years.
What is unique about the meeting, which was held earlier this week, was that it was for the benefit of a dozen women who are incarcerated. The James Musick Facility is the first correctional facility in the country to open its doors to the group. The partnership began in November 2006 and to date it has served 650 women inmates at Musick.
“We’ve all hurt our children being in here but we’re learning that nobody is perfect and everybody needs to be a better parent,” one inmate said of the group’s work at Musick. “Angel is a wonderful person but she’s still learning to be a mother. She’s taught us that it’s always a learning process.”
“MOPs is a safe place to connect with other mothers,” Angel tells the women. “For all of us, it’s a journey.”
She said of the “Common Thread” game that she is always fascinated by how much she has in common with all the mothers she meets, whether at Musick or a local church.
The women laughed and made remarks as the common threads of each group were read aloud. They range from being in jail to liking Las Vegas and music, or enjoying pizza. All the women have addictions, some to drugs and others to shoes or shopping.
All of the women inmates miss their children.
The group’s presentation of the day was about a book titled The Intentional Woman, by Carol Travilla and Joan Webb. It can be purchased at the group’s Website at www.mops.org.
The presentation was made with a slide show by MOPs member Catherine Antone.
She tells the women that as jail inmates they are in the state of a Forced Stop in their role as parents. She advised that it is a good time to make a decision about the rest of their lives.
The book tells women that significant decisions affect the individual’s entire life and that all aspects of the life should be considered before a major decision is to be made.
The presentation brought about personal disclosures by the presenters and the inmates. Some of the women shared ordeals they faced as children and in recent times, such things as verbal abuse by parents and teachers and recent betrayal by so-called friends.
“To allow those feelings to come out is important,” Angel said. “To be talked to the way some have by a parent makes you feel that you’ve been bad but it’s not true. Each of us is a unique, beautiful flower.”
The meeting ended with the inmates hugging and shaking hands with Angel and Catherine. Most of the women said they will go to next week’s meeting. One woman is being released before then and she said she plans to contact the group for support upon her release.
“We haven’t kept track of how many women contact us after release,” said Angel. “A few weeks ago after a meeting in the county a woman came up and asked if she was remembered. She had been to the session here.”